5 Times I Wish I Could Speak Baby

  1. While changing diapers. It’s not like we haven’t done it before, kid. Do you want to go to sleep with a dirty diaper? No. Stop kicking me. 
  2. While traveling in a double stroller. Please stop kicking your brother. Please stop yelling. Please stop. I thought walks were supposed to put you to sleep. 
  3. While dining in a restaurant. No, you don’t need all the crayons. Share them with your brother. Share at least one. If you share one for two minutes you can have chocolate milk. 
  4. While traveling in the car. You threw all of the toys I gave you 20 seconds ago onto the floor and I can’t retrieve them while driving. Please stop screaming. Please stop eating your brother’s toe. 
  5. While eating breakfast. I cannot make pancakes, fill a bottle, pour cereal and heat up breakfast links at the same time. Here, have some chocolate chips. Peace and quiet for 30 seconds while Mommy drinks her coffee is worth the impending sugar high. 

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