Another day, another doctor. That’s life with chronic pain. But today’s visit with a new doctor changed my life.
She can’t know how her words affected me, but after asking about my job and commute and family obligations, she said something so simple and so obvious: “you are burning the candle at both ends. You need to give yourself permission to not do everything.”
But I’m trying to lose weight and take care of my kids and do my job and spend time with my husband…
“I think you look good just the way you are.”
Every time I go to a doctor’s appointment I wait for the lecture about my weight. And it’s never happened. But this doctor knew exactly what to say to make it click for me. It’s not about the numbers on the scale, but about how healthy I am both physically and mentally, and I cannot expect myself to be healthy emotionally if I keep beating myself up over the numbers of the scale. I exercise. I eat healthfully, most of the time. I’m trying to make time for myself.
And I need to stop and acknowledge that I can’t do everything and that’s okay. Right now, I don’t read. I listen to podcasts and music on my long commute instead of books. And that’s okay. My house isn’t spotless and sometimes the boys have cereal for both breakfast and dinner. And that’s okay. I will never iron my clothes or organize my underwear drawer. And that’s okay.
Dinner can wait. Breathe in, breathe out. Rock your baby longer, smell the last hint of baby in his hair.
Dinner can wait. Breathe in, breathe out.