Compression Socks aka Birth Control

I’ve been binge watching MTV’s 16 & Pregnant, something I also did while pregnant with Future President. It’s a ridiculous habit, I totally agree. And yet I can’t look away. The baby daddies are usually complete idiots and I’m shouting at the moms via my iPad: get child support while you have a current address!

If a teenager happens to stumble upon this blog and that teenager is contemplating unprotected sex, let me tell you, I have a few things to say to said teenager.

  1. That birth control you didn’t want to take because you were worried about weight gain? Yeah, you’re going to gain a lot more weight while pregnant. That weight will be ridiculously hard to work off. And even if you do somehow get rid of all the baby weight, your body will look different. The stretch marks on your stomach will fade but never disappear. And while you’re lucky that your young body will bounce back better than mine, your boobs will never be the same, nor will your stomach and hips. Clothes will always fit differently.
  2. Even though you are young, pregnancy will change your body in other ways besides making you feel like a beached whale. Have you heard of compression socks? You will likely need to wear compression socks at some point during your pregnancy because of low blood pressure or high blood pressure or swelling in your legs and feet. Those cute summer shoes you want to wear will go into a closet and might never fit again. If you read nothing else on this page, remember this. Compression socks are not sexy. Remember that the next time you skip your birth control pill.
  3. Heart burn. It makes sleeping impossible and eating very uncomfortable. Some medicine makes it slightly better, but if you’re like me, you’ll spend the last month of your pregnancy sleeping in a recliner.
  4. You will spend hours in doctors offices. You think life will change after a baby? It changes as soon as you get pregnant. You will be required to go to countless doctor appointments and ultrasounds when you’d rather be doing something fun, like sleeping. But sleeping is hard too, since it’s hard to move and eventually you won’t be able to sleep on either your stomach or your back.
  5. And even if you are very unsure about having a baby, you will get emotionally attached to the fetus, even before you’ve felt it move. And if something goes wrong, your maternal instinct will kick in and you will be emotionally distraught. You are too young to experience these things. You shouldn’t have to. So use birth control.
  6. Becoming a mother is a life-long, full-time commitment. You won’t get to sleep in past 8 a.m. for at least three years after the baby is born. That baby is going to rely on you for everything it needs. Your needs will never again be your first priority. So say goodbye to eyebrow waxing, mani/pedis, movies, and the exclusive use of your own phone.

So many of the young moms on 16 & Pregnant don’t use birth control. They have so many excuses – they were too embarrassed to ask the guy to put on a condom, they thought the pill would cause weight gain, they missed a few days of the pill and never restarted taking them, they had unprotected sex and didn’t get pregnant that time, so of course they’re probably infertile. WRONG. ALL WRONG. If you are having sex, use birth control. Better yet, wait until you’re old enough to really deal with the consequences of having sex (like a BABY!) to have sex.

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