True Excuses From New Parents

To my child-free friends:
I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want you to think I value your friendships any less than before Future President arrived.

So here’s a list of actual, true excuses you’ll hear from me if I’m late, haven’t written or called, or you think I may have dropped off the face of the earth.

1) It’s not you, it’s me. I’m tired when I get home from work. I want to spend time with Future President before he goes to bed. And then I want to do something that doesn’t involve brain power, and that includes talking on the phone.

2) I’ll be there as soon as I can! I never realized the amount of stuff a baby requires, even for a quick trip out of the house. So I have to gather his stuff, but only after checking his diaper and feeding him. So I might be late, which I hate, because I am (or was) the most punctual person I know.

3) I want to have an adult conversation. But it’s hard. I am consumed by all things baby and I might bore you to death with stories of tummy time and firsts – first time in the pool! First time rolling over! Etc., etc.

4) I really really want to talk but my attention span is so short, it might be better to text or email. And seriously, if I say I have to go because of Future President, it’s true. He probably spit out his pacifier again.

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